If...

Ramblings…

“Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality especially while you struggle to keep your own.”--Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons

1. My kids will fight, no matter how hard I try to convince them to play nicely. They are polar opposites. Oil and water. Gasoline and a match! They get along best when they are conspiring against me!

2. Since becoming a Mom I found out just how scary this world really is. I make my both boys sit in a cart when we are at stores because I am afraid if I take my eyes of either one of them, even for a moment, they might not be there when I turn back around.

3. I always find it interesting how two people can be saying the same thing, and one sounds self-righteous and judgemental, while the other sounds inspirational. Reminds me that often how I say things is more important than what I am saying.

4. I love to read. I hope the boys will always love books. When Dylan was born my parents gifted all the books we has as children to him. Now reading with the boys brings back memories of my Dad reading to me. I especially love to see my Dad reading to the boys!

Happy Friday!

Jacquelyn

What I've learned about being a Mom...

I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with Dylan, I was 25. We had just moved into this fixer-upper that needed a whole lot of fixing up. More than we could possibly do in 8 months... there was no way my house was going to be ready for a baby.

I was scared, and thrilled at the same time. For a girl who had been told that she didn't ovulate and would never conceive children this was a miracle. I knew a little about babies, the kind of stuff you learn from babysitting. I was terrified of labor and delivery. I wanted absolutely no part of breastfeeding. I was obsessed with buying my baby a crib, no matter that I had no nursery to put it in or that my mom gave me a perfectly good basinette that she assured me the baby could sleep in for 3 or 4 months, I HAD TO HAVE A CRIB.

When Dylan was first born I felt so inadequate. I had no idea what I was doing, I was exhausted and felt like I might never understand this little creature that was bestowed upon me. I spent two nights in the hospital after he was born, I couldn't wait to get out of there, away from these nurses who made me feel like the worst mother ever, even though I know they were trying to help as best as they knew how. My Mom stayed with me for a week after he was born, she helped me in ways I'm not sure she knows. She helped me with the cooking and cleaning, but more importantly she stood by and allowed me to come into my own as a mother. She assured me that I had a clue. That I was doing a good job.

I cried when she left to go back home, I might have been a grown woman, amother myself, but I have never felt closer to my Mom. I never felt as though I needed her more. I felt a bond with my Mom I have never experienced before. She gave me a big hug, and told me I could handle it. She was only a phone call away.

In the 4 years that have passed I realized that she was right, I could handle it. I did call, I did consult, I did ask for advice. I did watch her interact with my boys, and learn from her ways. I find myself becoming a little more like my mother each day. :)

My boys too have taught me many, many things.

Before you have kids everyone tells you that you won't understand the kind of love a mother has for her child until you have one of your own. So true. These boys amaze me, and my heart grows more everyday to hold the love I have for them.

Kisses and band-aids fix just about everything.

Boys destroy things. They enjoy it. Huh? ( I didn't say I understood everything they've taught me)

I could clean all day, and within 5 minutes it can look as though no one has vacuumed or mopped or tidied in weeks. As Phylis Diller said "Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shovelling the walk before it stops snowing"

On the flip side, the kids won't remember that Mommy had the cleanest house on the block, or the best decor, they'll remember the puzzles put together in the middle of the living room, the art they made that Mommy put on the wall. They'll remember the painting I let them do on my dining room table, and the picnics in the yard. A house that is too clean just might mean no one is having any fun.

Boys need wide open spaces. As their mother I have no choice but to learn to like the outdoors.

It really is the little things that make the biggest impact. To kids love is spelled T-I-M-E.

As Dylan informed me today, "Mothers are important you know..."

Thank you Mom. Thank you boys. Thank you for letting me learn from you.

Happy Mothers Day!