Dear Santa...

Dear Santa,



Let me preface by saying that Christmas is my favorite time of the year, I find great joy in the season of Christmas, the hope that it instills in all of us. The reminders of how important good friends and family really are. I look forward to decorating, and baking and entertaining. I love the look on my childrens' faces when they watch the Santa Claus parade, the wonder and innocence that still resides with them. Having children makes Christmas that much better; writing letters to Santa, baking cookies together, watching them take it all in...


But Santa I regret to inform you I cancelled Christmas this year. I can't seem to get into the spirit. The behaviour from a certain almost 4 year old isn't helping. I vowed I wouldn't put the decorations out this year, because a certain almost 2 year old is quite certain they are all toys for him and his brother to fight over. Remember my living room is no longer a living room; it has been taken over by a fleet of little cars and trucks, a big honking TV that really, really does not fit into the room, it's become the boys club. (all 3 boys have overtaken my living room) Where am I to find space for all these breakable decorations?

I did go to the mall shopping, and just like last year I had been in a couple stores and what should happen? The fire alarm should ring of course, and while not a real fire everyone was evacuated anyhow... so I am taking it as a sure"fire" sign that Christmas should be cancelled.


I decided that Christmas baking is out too. Afterall my "helpers" seem to make more of a mess than be of much help. They have even less patience than their mother (honestly, I didn't know that was possible). If you're up for store bought cookies feel free to have a look in the cupboards should you happen to stop by.


So, I cancelled Christmas. Maybe in a few years we can celebrate it again, you know... when they're old enough to understand that ceramic isn't a toy, and that raw cookie dough really isn't good for you. When they realize just like the Grinch that "Maybe Christmas perhaps doesn't come from a store, maybe Christmas perhaps means a little bit more..."

What's in a Name?

Bruce proposed to me 5 years ago this Dececmber, I had just returned from a 3 month study abroad trip in Cuba, and during those 3 months I guess he decided he didn't want to live without me- awww how sweet right?


Except that we never set a date. It's been a long engagement. In part, because I didn't want to change my last name. He figured there was no point in making it "official" if I wasn't going to change my name... afterall nothing else would change we'd just have a piece of paper. In our minds we're already married anyway.

We're both pretty stubborn, and the name change debate has been going on for about 5 years now. Why? Because I don't care for his last name of course. I mean come on, it ends with WART for goodness sakes... No that's not really the issue.


So, what is the issue? Gender politics? Oppression? A nod to feminism? A loss of identity? I never really gave much thought as to why I was holding onto my last name, except that it has been mine for almost 30 years and I really like it. I suppose I would have a hard time playing the feminist card considering that I am a SAHM (or "Housewife" as some of my friends like to refer to me) and that's pretty traditional isn't it? When I questioned the need for a name change I was told by a friend of Bruce's that it was about me not belonging to my father anymore and now belonging to Bruce... ummm excuse me I don't "BELONG" to anyone.


Our boys already have his last name, and yes there was a conflict of opinion when Dylan was born ( even my Mom chimed in on this one). Whenever I call to make appointments for them or try to sign them up for things people seem to get confused by the fact that I have another name all together and ultimately refer to me as Mrs. Bruce'sLastName anyway. Anyone calling for Bruce, or anyone who met Bruce first and doesn't know that we aren't married, refers to me as Mrs. Bruce'sLastName too. I have issues with MRS too- because it makes me feel ,but that's an issue for another post.


SO... since everyone around me seems to insist on changing my name anyhow... I gave in. And now I officially get to plan a wedding!

Raising Boys

The other day a very pregnant friend of mine expecting a boy asked what it was like to raise boys (she already has 2 girls). Was it different than girls? While I can't answer that because I have no working knowledge of raising girls, I know a thing or two about boys.
Loud, messy, wild and crazy. This poem pretty much sums up our lives with 2 boys: (I wish I could write so well... and by the way- we do have spiderman shoes and a fireman coat to wear in the rain!)

Boys in my House
Author: Erin Jo Kilmer



There are boys in my house -
and Spiderman shoes And 200 papers in various blues.
There's Bob (he's a builder) and Thomas the Train,
There's a fireman coat to wear in the rain.
They have cars on their shirts and frogs on their hats
There's a glove and a ball and a red plastic bat.
There's dirt on a face and a smudge on a nose;
Grass stains on knees and sand between toes.
There's bathtime at night with bodies to scrub,
And when we're all done there is dirt in the tub!
There's bandaids and bruises and curious bumps,
There's smiles and laughter and sometimes there's grumps.
There's odors most icky; there's boogers so green
There's more yucky things than I'll ever get clean.
There's piles of laundry; there's stories at night;
There's bedtime and bathtime and dinnertime fights.
There's cars and there's trains and there's books about trucks
There's Scoop, Lofty, Dizzy, and Travis, and Muck.
Sometimes there are bugs, and sometimes there are frogs;
Sometimes they are lions, or dinos, or dogs.
There are cute little vests and darling neckties
Dragged right through the mud - oh what a surprise!
There's running and climbing and jumping and falling
And laughing and crying and hugging and brawling
And rolling and losing and finding and creeping
And whining and stealing and sometimes there's sleeping.
There's tantrums and time outs and extra loud noise -
There's love in my house shaped like two little boys.

I would love to have this poem done in vinyl and put in the family room or the kitchen but I suspect it would cost me a small fortune to have it made, so for now I will settle for sharing it here with all of you!

For myself

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self. ~Cyril Connolly

When I first started this blog I knew I was writing it for myself, a journal of life with my boys. It was intended to chronicle their lives, and as a way to put thoughts into words. I had no intentions of it being read by anyone else until I started reading all the wonderful blogs out there in blogland, my favorites by far are ones by women who write about life with their kids but also about all the issues we as women and mothers deal with on a daily basis. I am enthralled with the decorating blogs, these women have so many creative ideas that they share. (It does amaze me when they can complete projects so well with kids- their children must nap better than mine!)

When I began reading all these other wonderful blogs I suddenly had visions of people reading mine, and when that didn't happen I thought well... why bother writing if no one is going to read it anyhow?

I am not overly creative, I don't have a bunch of home thrifty and chic decor projects on the go, while I would love to I don't have the time or the money to decorate - not to mention my boys don't think much of the home decor stores! I could bombard this blog with stories about our day-to-day lives of crying and chaos, messes and meltdowns, interspersed with hugs and kisses. Would anyone want to read about that either? I don't know... but then I realized it doesn't matter. I intended to write this for myself, not for everyone else. If someone wants to read and gets value out of what I have written, great! If not that's OK too- I am not going to change my life to have something to write about that will appeal to the masses.

STUFF

I haven't posted anything in quite awhile. We have been busy, finishing the family room in the basement, laying new floors and getting the playroom finished for the boys- a room within a room just for them, to contain their things (and their mess). I wish I could post pictures, but unfortunately not even a week after the rooms were almost finished the basement flooded. Thankfully our insurance will fix it, but it's been nothing but chaos here ever since.

Amidst the chaos, we did seize the opportunity to get rid of a lot of stuff. Stuff that we had packed in boxes and moved with us from house to house and never opened. Stuff that just sat there idly, wondering if it would ever see the light of day again. Honestly, I had no idea we had so much. I packed up a lot of what will eventually will be returning, and the movers will pack the rest and take it to storage, something I have trouble with. I want everything to be packed neatly and the basement to look clean (as clean as a water damaged basement can look) when they come.

We have used our basement since we moved in, it was always partially finished. There is a bedroom, a family room, a workshop,playspace for the kids, a back entry way and a storage room. I was so excited to see it finally looking like finished living space, with paint on the walls instead of the cold grey gyprock! It's sad that this had to happen, but at least it will be fixed. How long that will take we are not 100% sure. I hope not too long since we now all have to be on the main floor all the time. Our house is not large, it's about 1300 square feet, but with another 1300 sqare ft in the basement out house never felt small either. Years ago at a flea market I saw a sign that read "love grows best in little houses", we shall see! It'll either be love or insanity growing in this house over the next couple of months!