What's in a Name?

Bruce proposed to me 5 years ago this Dececmber, I had just returned from a 3 month study abroad trip in Cuba, and during those 3 months I guess he decided he didn't want to live without me- awww how sweet right?


Except that we never set a date. It's been a long engagement. In part, because I didn't want to change my last name. He figured there was no point in making it "official" if I wasn't going to change my name... afterall nothing else would change we'd just have a piece of paper. In our minds we're already married anyway.

We're both pretty stubborn, and the name change debate has been going on for about 5 years now. Why? Because I don't care for his last name of course. I mean come on, it ends with WART for goodness sakes... No that's not really the issue.


So, what is the issue? Gender politics? Oppression? A nod to feminism? A loss of identity? I never really gave much thought as to why I was holding onto my last name, except that it has been mine for almost 30 years and I really like it. I suppose I would have a hard time playing the feminist card considering that I am a SAHM (or "Housewife" as some of my friends like to refer to me) and that's pretty traditional isn't it? When I questioned the need for a name change I was told by a friend of Bruce's that it was about me not belonging to my father anymore and now belonging to Bruce... ummm excuse me I don't "BELONG" to anyone.


Our boys already have his last name, and yes there was a conflict of opinion when Dylan was born ( even my Mom chimed in on this one). Whenever I call to make appointments for them or try to sign them up for things people seem to get confused by the fact that I have another name all together and ultimately refer to me as Mrs. Bruce'sLastName anyway. Anyone calling for Bruce, or anyone who met Bruce first and doesn't know that we aren't married, refers to me as Mrs. Bruce'sLastName too. I have issues with MRS too- because it makes me feel ,but that's an issue for another post.


SO... since everyone around me seems to insist on changing my name anyhow... I gave in. And now I officially get to plan a wedding!